The General and I are bored. The powers that be at the office have shifted us around and changed our job duties, so that we now do a fraction of what we used to do for the same money. This is what corporate America calls "streamlining," or "realigning the business model."
It's much more efficient, apparently, if we're bored, so bored we are. We pass the time by writing dirty limericks and cooking up hair-brained schemes. Today, after the limericks, the General came up with an idea for a business.
"Dr. Doughnut!" he exclaimed. I looked at him blankly. "You make the doughnuts while dressed scrubs, with a mask and one of those head-mirror things, and fill the doughnuts with syringes!"
The doughnuts are the prescription for whatever ails ye, so they're called things like "Strawberry Suture" and "Lemon Ligature." "Coconut Colonoscopy" sounds especially yummy, I think, as does "Iced Enema."
"That's a coffee drink," proclaimed The General when I thought up that last one. "It's got BITS floating in it." I hold up an imaginary coffee cup and say, "Someone's been eating PEPPERS."
We'll go mobile, buying a used ambulance and kitting it out as a doughnut shop on wheels. "We'll park outside of Curves and make a mint," cackles the General. "The fatties will not need to come to us, we'll come to the fatties!"
I'm not sure this concept would go over well with most. I find that while we find certain things hilarious, others find them odd and probably a little frightening. More's the pity; someone, somewhere, needs to proclaim that their favorite doughnut ever is a Praline Pap Smear.