Friday, March 26, 2010

Rosenrosen and the Curse of Family Ties

When I first met Rosenrosen, my political views leaned decidedly to the left. She was, and still is, very conservative. Somehow, though, we managed to hit it off.

I voted for Clinton twice, but during his second term when he said, "We all need to tighten our belts," and then proceeded to start pulling on mine even though he'd promised that only rich people would see tax increases, I began to rethink my stance. Most of our political discussions, though, had me pro-labor and her pro-business and ended in good-natured name-calling. Somewhere around about the time of the disputed Bush/Gore elections, in which I hesitantly voted for Gore and she voted for Bush, Rosenrosen issued forth a prophecy. "You know, hippie," she said, "Your son is probably going to grow up to be ultra-conservative."

"Oh, shut up," says I.

"No, really," she went on, "I can see it now. You'll be sitting around the breakfast table in a tie-dyed t-shirt listening to NPR and flipping through the "Utne Reader," and he'll be there in an oxford shirt and a tie with a copy of the "Wall Street Journal." He'll be like Alex P. Keaton!"

Then she walked away cackling.

Nowadays, age and responsibilities have changed my outlook; my political views now fall in the general vicinity of Margaret Thatcher, a scoche to the right of G.W. and slightly to the right of Hitler. A classical conservative, I think they call it; fiscally conservative and socially ambiguous. Nevertheless, it seems that Rosenrosen's prophecy regarding my son has come true anyway.

He is not wont to wear oxford shirts and ties, but he DOES read the financial pages. He's developed an interest in the stock market, takes note of the rise and fall of the price of things, like gas and milk, and follows politics. I noticed when he was about ten, and he piped up from the back seat,"Oh, boy. Gas has gone up ten cents since last week!" He rolled his eyes, muttering, "Well, that's just GREAT."

In some ways, it's a good thing. Early interest in stocks and bonds is probably a good indicator that a child may be a financial success, and buy his mommy a new house and an Aston Martin. I was thinking I should give him some seed money and open him up an e*trade account.

On the other hand, he could turn in to a nervous wreck and develop an ulcer by the age of 13. He may go prematurely bald, and stalk around the house shouting incoherently at the Bloomberg Business Report while drinking Maalox straight out the bottle.