Hysterical.

Today my friend Rosenrosen asked if I purchased the re-release of Def Leppard's "Hysteria." I have "Hysteria" on disc, thank you, and have no intention of adding any funds to the Def Leppard coffers by purchasing their poxy re-release. I don't care how many superfun bonus tracks or live performances they included in the "bonus" disc. Rosenrosen claims the bonus disc is actually good, with some interesting live covers. There's an Elvis cover, however, about which she said: "It doesn’t sound like Joe, I have no idea if he’s even singing it. It’s horrendously off-key, and sounds like someone’s drunk Aunt Alice singing bad karaoke at $5/dozen Wing Night at the local Publick House."




This last made me snarf my dietCoke.



I lost a lot of respect for the old DL when I read about some feud they were having with other cheesy metal bands like Dio and Poison. Where does one cheestastic rock bank get off claiming they're better than another? Where's the justification? They all had big perms and made silly faces whilst playing their guitars. So some of them know a few more chords than others; big deal! More to the point, how can anyone get mad at Ronnie James Dio? He looks like a troll. A little long-haired sword-carrying troll who lives in your baseboards, flashes you the evil eye, and steals all your buttons.



Between the feuds and claiming not only that they were never a hair band but also that they were never even a METAL band ( I own 'Pyromania' and I beg to differ,) well...it's all a bit off-putting. Old Joe must be going through menopause, the way he shoots his mouth off about what a great band he has vs. how much everyone else sucks and seems to be bitter and angry about...something. He should take some B-vitamins and go lie down until he comes to terms with the fact that he's no longer relevant.



I understand why Def Leppard is repackaging and re-releasing their old stuff; there's a recession going on. They all maintain residences on several continents, and they've all got alimony payments plus plastic surgery and wig maintenance fees and lots of other rock-god expenses so I'm sure they need the cash. However, they've gotten all the money they're ever going to get from me. Especially after that last stinker of an album.



It hurts my heart, really, because I do love the DL. I really wish these old rock guys would learn to age gracefully instead of morphing in to sad, ranting, botox'd, bewigg'd parodies of their former selves.