A list, in no special order, of impulses I am currently working very hard to control.
- urge to hit someone with a chair
- urge to push someone down the stairs
- urge to say to someone, "That haircut is STUPID."
- related: urge to tell co-worker that her new 'do makes her look 10 years older, in addition to being stupid.
- purple nurples
- urge to go, "Duh da de derp de derp da dope de dope..." while someone is speaking.
- assorted namecalling and slurs:
- doucher, fuckwit, douchebag, asshat, cuntbag, fucktard, quivering pile of douche, faggot, fuckface, bootlip, Hootie, and shouting 'Run, Trayvon....RUN!!"
- urge to punctuate statement with flatulence
- urge to quote Bible verses at people
- urge to tell someone, regarding an ill-behaved child: "Put that thing on a leash!"
- urge to kick small dogs
- urge to end sentences with "SELAH", or "So mote it be."