Friday, August 9, 2013

Udo's Full House

"Man, that Uncle Jesse; what a head of hair!" - Udo

Nickelodeon shows reruns of "Full House" in the mornings. I know this because Udo watches it surreptitiously. I caught him in the act, and he was apologetic.

"I know you think this show is crap," he said, "but I kind of like it. I think that's okay."

I told him he can watch whatever he likes. "If YOU like it, then watch it," I said. And so he does.

Like many Family Hour sitcoms of the era, it's an excruciatingly bad show. Bad jokes, ridiculous situations, and improbable outcomes, all with a laugh track. And oh, the coolness! I realize that any program will bear the vestiges of the fashions of its age, so the most hilarious thing about the program from this present vantage point are the clothes and the hair. Acid-washed denim? Great big poofy perms, and hair-sprayed bangs that stand six inches of the top of the precocious moppets' heads? What in God's name were we thinking about in 1989?

The most cringe-worthy aspect isn't the button-fly Levi's and floppy socks, it's the lingo. I can't imagine what might have been going on in those script-writers' meetings. "So listen, guys; we need to come up with a catch phrase for a toddler. Somethin' HIP, somethin' NOW, somethin' HAPPENIN'!" And they decided on "You got it, dude!" presumably because you coudn't have a two-year-old asking "How's it hangin'?" on network TV during the 8:00 hour in prime time.

Awwwwww...how darling! I mean, I know the little one whose catch phrase this was kind of resembled a monkey until puberty, when the twins that played her sprouted mams and developed perpetual duck-face. (I believe that they make this face, actually, because the bulimia leaves them with constant puke breath, and duck-face-lip occludes the nostrils and blocks the stench. But, I digress.) Still and all; a toddler that calls everyone "dude?" Old ladies and elementary school kids across the country went nuts for it.
 
So the upshot, then, is that I don't like the show, and I don't want to watch it. I don't want to listen to it playing in the background when I'm doing other things. I want to change the channel and hide the clicker; I want to set up the parental controls to block it as obscene.
 
I won't do that, though, because dear Udo loves the show. He thinks the poofy permed hair is AWESOME. He belly laughs at the stupid jokes. The family often hugs and says how much they love each other; they kiss one another on the nose while making sad puppy dog eyes. Soft-hearted Udo, also wont to deliver wide-eyed kisses while declaring his devotion, sits and smiles sweetly as he watches.
 
 

 

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